I woke up to this year with a broken marriage and a broken heart knowing the horrors in the form of court proceedings this year held in its folds but never once did I stop to break down. I had done that for two months last year and I had promised myself I would not waste any time this year. So I worked towards building a future for myself. I took up a job and let a friend in despite all my fears of getting hurt and being abandoned all over again. But the last few days changed so much that I am standing yet again with empty hands looking at the bleak, bleary and wintry view from my window.
I lost the job that was meant to give me financial stability and within days my best friend, the only person I could talk to, smile with and laugh with, in moments of despair and frustration. But as I look out of my window the lines of a poem by Rudyard Kipling take form in mind,
“ If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’ “
And here I am ready to ring in another New Year bruised and battered emotionally but still holding on to start once again the process of rebuilding my life.