Divorced and Proud

Divorce in different societies has different connotations. In India it is often equated with social stigma where the woman (not the man) is socially ostracized and emotionally abandoned. In other societies, divorce is equated with failure in life because you failed to save your marriage.

But I ask what gives anyone the right to reduce my whole life’s worth of work to failure or social stigma just because I could not save my marriage or that I chose not to?

Why is it that the ability to walk away from something that hurts us emotionally or is potentially life threatening is not seen as a mark of strength and is instead seen as a failure?

All my peers who seem to have happy marriages with cute kids would not have been able to survive even for a day in the life threatening situations through which I have survived. I have already seen one person disintegrate into the abyss of depression because of rejection and bad life choices which were totally within control and in no way a threat to one’s safety.

So do not give me those pitiful eyes or sympathetic expressions or the empty words of consolation, because I am a survivor. Unlike you I do not blink when I say I am divorced or soon to be, neither do I recoil at the words. If I could nonchalantly or gladly say that I am single or married why do you expect me to flinch or look woebegone when I say I’m divorced?

I will not slink into some corner just because of my marital status so do not look at me with those sad eyes or nod your head in mock understanding when I am enjoying a meal in solitude or just taking in the peace of a sunset alone on my balcony. This is my life and I will not apologize for it. I did not choose for it to be so, but when it is so, I enjoy it as it comes because as you updated your Facebook profile with glossed over pictures and looked sympathetically at mine I have learnt one of the most important lessons that life can teach you – surviving, against all odds.

I will not run, I will not hide. I am divorced and proud.

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6 comments on “Divorced and Proud

  1. Superb! I admire you totally. The moment I finished reading this post, I automatically clicked the follow icon. I just the love the way u have put across the thought. 🙂
    Keep writing.

    • Thank you very much for your kind words and the follow. I am so glad you liked my thoughts. This blog is an effort to reach out to the distressed women to let them know that they are not alone in their journey through divorce and help the others understand the trials and tribulations we face so that they can lend a patient ear or shoulder for support.

  2. Miss. D says:

    Heck yes!! Love this post!!!!!!

  3. fredphillips says:

    At the risk of alienating myself from my male brethren, if more men did some serious soul searching, dealt with their emotional pain and insecurities and read The 5 Love Languages, there would be a lot less divorce.

    Thank you for stopping by and liking my posts. I appreciate the support and connection.

    Cheers,
    Fred.

    • It is not just the men who need to do so but I believe that we humans should be more humane towards each other which might reduce instances of cruelty and torture that could on an overall basis reduce divorce on these grounds.

      Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment on my posts.

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