Legal proceedings in India are laborious if not frustrating and ancient. Hence having a survival plan during the divorce proceedings is extremely important. This is the time when your life is hanging by a thread, since you are neither married nor divorced and you might tend to postpone any major plans of revamping your life to the future i.e, post-divorce. But be wary since the postponement period could be nothing less than a year given the time it normally takes to get a divorce in India.
Hence the first step for survival is to be careful about what you believe. You might have the best lawyer who will promise you your divorce in six months but be prepared to make regular trips to the Family Courts for at least a year which might extend in case you are unfortunate to land yourself in a highly contested divorce. The lawyers in the Family Courts are there to milk your emotional anguish through adjournments and ineffective judgments so bracing yourself for a prolonged legal battle is the need of the hour.
I started out thinking that I would be divorced by early 2013 only to readjust my view and hope that I should be divorced by at least end of this year. Since the time I decided that I would divorce my ex I started putting every plan on hold right from buying evening wear to taking a holiday. Divorce proceedings are unfortunately not just emotionally exhausting but also financially diminishing. Hence every penny that I earn is locked up in my account to be spent on getting my freedom.
The combination of constrained finances and frustratingly slow progress in the Family Court can be excruciating to the say the least. To add to my multiplying woes, since I filed, my ex has dragged the case to at least two higher courts making me run to three different cities in a span of eight months. But through all this I learnt the hard way that you simply cannot put your life on hold till such time you get a piece of paper in your hand which symbolizes what you have known for months if not years.
So the third and most essential step of survival is to live your life as you want to after being legally divorced. Even though you might not be able to take on extravagant expenses (I am still looking longingly at the DSLR I have been eyeing for almost 2 years now), ensuring the small pleasures by treating yourself to a nice meal or a day at the spa goes a long way in refreshing and rejuvenating yourself to face another spate of long and arduous battles in the courts.
Giving yourself small and quality bundles of pleasure and joy will help you remain calm and composed irrespective of how long the legal quagmire lasts in your life. So when life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show that you can survive and smile for thousand other reasons.